I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do vagina's smell?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
