hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I could fuck to npr.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
