I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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