Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
