I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
