Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
