real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
True but thats because hes a fetus.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
