Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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