I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
