it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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