I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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