Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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