Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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