Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am available for nakedness
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
