I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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