i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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