We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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