even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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