at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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