Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
