U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize