Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
