oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize