There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
