My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
