he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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