I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
