when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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