He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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