bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
