wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
