He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
