whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
