I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They took my balls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
