youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
