New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
