with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize