I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
