Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
