I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
