What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
