Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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