Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
