somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
