K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
