I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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