Non-Jews are for practice
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
