Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
