he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
