i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize