I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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