Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
