Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
