he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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