As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will be naked everywhere
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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