and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
