whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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