I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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