When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize