This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ttyl tear gas
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
