No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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