I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
