we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
