So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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