One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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